An Apology To My Body

An Apology To My Body | A Body Positivity Poem

An apology to my body

I’m sorry for endless empty 
stomachs filled with nothing 
but coffee grounds and ash. 
For burning your insides 
with bottles of liquor 
and broken glass.

I’m sorry for trying 
to claw out of you 
as if I were buried alive. 
Fingernails into your flesh 
trying to rid myself of you.

I’m sorry for carving train tracks
from razor blades and pooling 
blood beneath, hoping 
they would take me somewhere 
far from you. I’m sorry for 
the twelve inch gash on your thigh 
I splayed open like a butcher 
to a cows stomach.

I’m sorry for all the times 
I screamed at you and called 
you names like an abusive lover, 
white-knuckled in rage.

I’m sorry for all the people 
who roughed up your soft skin. 
They never deserved to know you 
the way I do.

I’m sorry for taking so long
in learning how to love you. 
I’m sorry I will forget 
how once again, always in
learning of how to love 
you stronger.

We began as one,
an archaic bond. 
You knew me before 
I knew my first breath.
Let me press yarrow 
to our wounds
and begin 
to mend.

8 Self Care Apps For A Better You

Self Care Apps For A Better You

 Calm

Having a mindfulness practice is something I incorporate into my daily life. Allowing me time to reflect in silence and simply be has made me an all around calmer person. With Calm, I'm able to enhance my mindfulness. They have the most beautiful sleep stories, meditation options, sounds, and music. Simply opening the app is relaxing with their beautiful visuals and soothing sounds. They have sessions for guided meditation, walking meditation, open-ended meditation or even topics such as stress, kindness, forgiveness, and so many others. As you meditate, Calm begins to compile a calendar for you so you can visual how often (or how seldom) you are incorporating meditation and calmness into your days. To keep you motivated, it even gives you the amount of time you've meditated, the amount of sessions you've done, and your longest day streak. For sleep, they have sounds you can play or even sleep stories to listen to. There's a melody called "Milky Way" and the tune is ethereal, otherworldly, and so calming it puts my son out within minutes and makes my eyes heavy as I lay down with him. There are so many amazing options within this app. It's perfect to add a little calm to our busy lives.

Headspace

Headspace, like Calm, is a meditation app. Headspace believes that meditation and mindfulness is a necessary to help relieve stress and anxiety while upping creativity and focus. Even if you've never meditated before, Headspace will guide you through it. If you're busy, they even have mini exercises you can do at any time that last anywhere from 1-3 minutes. If you're looking for something specific, they have sessions for anxiety, productivity, anger, regret, and more. A simple 10-minute meditation is a great beginner to start becoming more mindful and aware of oneself and Headspace allows you to do just that. 

Happify

Happiness relies on games and activities for emotional support and happiness. Each track within the app is science-based to help train your thoughts into positivity and reduce your stress and anxiety. Follow the tracks to help you acquire the skills you need to conquer the negative thoughts. Each track is different ranging from guided meditation to writing exercises. There is also an option to see your "skills" which is composed of five different ones: Savor, Thank, Aspire, Give, and Empathize. As you do the activities, those status bars begin to fill up. They also have a section that tells you "why it works" and the literature even has footnotes to links so you can read or research more. The app is great if you like science-backed apps, games, and positive thinking. It sounds like a lot but the app is user-friendly and extremely innovative for  online, personal mental health support. 

Grateful: Gratitude Journal

A gratitude journal will help focus on your appreciation for the things that matter most. It's easy for us to get caught up in the negative moments but it's important to remember the little things, the things that keep our heart beating and our laughter loud and our smile wide. Each journal session begins with a prompt to help guide your thoughts. You can use one of theirs or even create your own prompt. It also allows you to add a photo – maybe you took a photo of your kids that day or were really grateful for an amazing meal or attending an exciting event. When you want to go back and reflect, the app makes it easy by allowing you to view as a timeline or as a page. If you want to turn it into a physical journal, Grateful makes it easy to export as a PDF so you can always be reminded of what made and makes you grateful. 

All Trails

Love hiking? Well, this app helps you locate any and all trails (get it?) and even allows you to choose between length, difficulty, rating, location, and so forth and gives you detailed trail maps.  Not only that but you can favorite different trails to tackle in the future and find which ones are dog and kid friendly. When you find one and are ready to hit the trails, you can turn on your GPS and it'll follow you along the trail making sure you don't get lost. Connect with friends to share and find trail inspiration. Nothing beats the outdoors and this definitely ups the game to make your hikes even more exciting. 

Think Dirty

As you're shopping, scan barcodes of beauty products and Think Dirty will tell you how bad or good the ingredients. With almost 900,000 products, Think Dirty will tell you how good or toxic the ingredients are in the items you use daily. All you have to do is scan the barcodes of your beauty or personal care products and it'll let you know how "dirty" it is on their "dirty meter." It also lists off the ingredients for you so you can judge yourself. If you want, you can even save products for future shopping trips so you have your good and bad list on hand. The app also allows you to track your progress on limiting the bad products and will give you a score on toxic your bathroom shelf is. This app is great to keep you aware of what's going on your body. 

Stigma

1 in 4 people in the world will be affected by a mental or neurological disorder. Stigma is a mood journal that is meant to help relieve some of your suffering. It allows you to choose the mood you're currently feeling and then gives you a journal space to describe who/what/why/when/where/etc that may be attributing to how you're feeling. Not only that but as you set your moods, the app begins to generate a calendar for you so you can see how your mood rises and falls throughout time. Mental illness often focuses on the negative days and weeks you may be having but this app can show you the positives as well so you have a visual that the bad can and does pass. It also provides a community for those struggling with mental health and gives you "penpals" to connect to. 

Acorns

Saving and investing money can be a daunting task, but Acorns makes it easy by setting aside your spare change to grow your own personal wealth. Acorns syncs with your cards and rounds up the change from whatever purchases you make. So if you bought a coffee for $4.50, the app will invest $.40. The perk is – it seems so painless you'll never really notice it's gone but it'll all start adding up into a nice little savings in the long term. Don't knock off spare change and start investing it today with Acorns. 

These apps should not replace stepping away from technology and practicing mindfulness in a more "natural" fashion. However, these are great teachers to help us start somewhere and track our mental health. 

Whats your favorite self care app? 

Witchy Wednesday: Meditation and Its Benefits Towards Your Craft

Image Source |  Ladysmith Gazette

Image Source | Ladysmith Gazette

If we are not in tune with ourselves, our energy and our spells will be all over the place. The energy we put into the universe will be unbalanced and so will the energy we receive. Meditation brings us into ourselves and helps us to manifest our lives. Manifestation gives us the power to positively alter our reality by visualizing the change. Manifestation is the root of magick, of change, and of self growth and the way to achieve this is through meditation.

The first step is understanding that meditation isn't easy and requires practice. Too many blogs and articles give the appearance of things being "easy" and quick fixes yet they are toying with you. The best things in life almost ways require time, patience, effort, will, and hard work. From motherhood, to relationships, to friendships, to careers, to collections, to creations, everything requires those key ingredients. Do not allow yourself to be fooled into thinking things are easy because you will wind up giving up and feeling frustrated.

The second step is finding a meditation practice that works for you. The classic meditation of candles lit, complete silence, and reciting mantras is incredible but it is not the only way to meditate and in life, one size does not often fit all. Try the classic meditation, practice it, but also indulge in finding other ways to meditate. Perhaps creating art is something that helps you release or perhaps dancing. Whatever takes focus away from your stressors and negativities of life can be used as a form of meditation. And remember you will not see immediate results so consistent practice is key.

Meditation Ideas

Shower Meditation

Every time you take a shower, find a sense of calm and peace as the water caresses your flesh and envelopes you. Imagine all the negative energy and stress that surrounds you being washed away. From your head to your toes, it's being carried away. All the emotions you've been bottling up — the anxiety, the stresses, the sadness, the lack of motivation, the guilt is all being cleared off of you and is sinking into the drain. This is your release. 

Art Meditation

Creation is a wonderful meditation. All our overwhelming emotion can be relieved by making art. We need to let ourselves go and open ourselves to our psyche and soul. Feel the paint gliding over paper with your brush. Feel the clay smooth against your fingers. Art is self connection and teaches us, with practice, to dive within us and break free from the outside world. Visualize your negative energy being released onto your canvas and transformed into something outside yourself, into something better. 

Morning Journals

Imagine pulling them out. Like in Harry Potter and the pensieve, they brought the wand up to their temple, pulled out a memory, and dropped it into a basin. Do the same with your thoughts. Let them flow through you, to your pen, to paper and write it all out. Don't worry about anyone seeing it. Just let it all out and don't stop for a few pages. Not only does this allow a release, but it also gives us honesty about ourselves. It teaches us about our worries and our fears. Applied with meditation and with practice, it keeps us lighter and balanced. 

Guided Meditation

Common meditation of sitting with legs crossed, palms open, eyes closed can not be beat as far as meditation goes. With practice, it is calming, soothing, freeing. Yet it is not easy. It requires practice and patience and a little frustration. It is absolutely okay if our mind drifts because that is our soul talking to us - letting us know where we need to heal and where we need to accept. However, for beginners, a warm welcome into meditation by guides is a useful tool. There are tons on the internet and I recommend searching for the right one that calls to you. One of my favorites is TheHonestGuys.

Herbs, Scents, and Stones for Meditation

Invite nature to help you invoke peace and a meditative state. 

Herbs

  • Brahmi
  • Chamomile
  • Hibiscus 
  • Calendula

Scents

  • Frankincense
  • Sage 
  • Myrrh
  • Sandalwood

Stones

  • Clear quartz
  • Rose quartz
  • Lapis Lazuli
  • Amethyst
  • Labradorite

Benefits

  • Less stress
  • Empower the evolution of consciousness
  • Teaches relaxation of mind, body, and soul
  • Increase ability to focus
  • Helps memory
  • Increases control and impulses
  • Increases creativity and organization
  • Helps balance our emotions

Find your power through meditation. What ways do you meditate? What more would you like to learn about meditation?