45 Positive And Encouraging Phrases Children Need to Hear

The energy you give becomes the energy you receive. Positivity breeds positivity. In the land of toddlers and children, no matter how positive you are, there are still going to be difficult days. It's inevitable. This isn't a magical list that makes parenting extremely easy. However, there are benefits in the long run. Children are growing and figuring this life out and learning how to handle their emotions which is also why what and how we say things is important. It will resonate with them and will eventually reflect on how they see and move through life. 

Part of the reason toddler tantrums happen is because they are frustrated. Frustration is a big emotion for children as a whole. They don't completely understand how to do things, why they can't do certain things, why there are limits, why they are feeling the way they are feeling. As parents, it's our job to guide them into managing these emotions and turning it into something positive. When we're frustrated as adults, we are capable of taking a step back and breathing. We understand why we're frustrated and what is making us frustrated. Even some adults have a hard time cooling their frustration and yet we expect someone years younger to know exactly what to do. 

One thing I recommend is cutting down on the use of the word 'no'. I've found out two things: the less I use the word no, the more powerful it is when it's necessary (like a dangerous situation and safety purposes) and that we can avoid a tantrum by wording things differently. As parents, we tend to overuse the word 'no' because we want to avoid a mess or worry about not being in control or we forget to make our home child-friendly. 'No' is a fierce word. It is a wall. And chances are, children are eventually going to start to rebel against it. We forget to let a little loose and let kids be kids and explore new things.

By rephrasing things, we become a guide. We help them explore potential options they didn't know they had or consequences they didn't think of. Instead of "no" when they start hitting something, change it to "hitting that might break it" or "hitting your brother hurts him." Instead of "no" when they're near a hot oven, explain they need to step away because it's hot and can burn them.  Instead of "no", become more direct so they understand exactly what the disapproving behavior is as in "let go of the dog's tail. It hurts them."

The way we speak to children shapes them. The things you say to them are the things they will carry with them for the rest of their lives. 

  1. You are capable.
  2. You are loved.
  3. You are valuable.
  4. Being around you makes me happy.
  5. I have fun with you. 
  6. I'm grateful for you.
  7. You are incredible at [insert action and/or talent here].
  8. You are worthy. 
  9. Thank you for helping me.
  10. You are strong.
  11. Trust yourself, your instincts, and your intuition. 
  12. Mistakes are normal, it's how we move forward from them that matters.
  13. Don't get caught up in pleasing everyone else. Not everyone will like you and that's completely fine. It's impossible to be a match for everyone.
  14. Can you explain to me how you did that?
  15. I really love your use of color/texture/etc in your artwork. 
  16. I can't wait to see what you create.
  17. I think that's great. What about trying it this way next time?
  18. That's a really interesting idea.
  19. I'm proud of you and the person you are becoming.
  20. You can do it with practice and persistence. 
  21. I hear you and I see you.
  22. You are allowed to say no.
  23. Your body is your own.
  24. Wow. That was brave of you. 
  25. I love how curious you are. 
  26. What do you think?
  27. How does that make you feel?
  28. I appreciate you. 
  29. You can try again. 
  30. You did your best. 
  31. I love the way your mind works. 
  32. I accept you for who you are.
  33. I love spending time with you.
  34. Tell me more.
  35. That's a fair point.
  36. I hear what you're saying.
  37. I understand. 
  38. I'm listening.
  39. Can you teach me how to do that?
  40. That's really rad. 
  41. I forgive you.
  42. You are beautiful inside and out.
  43. You are important.
  44. Don't be afraid to be different. 
  45. I love you.
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Shayna Shattelroe

25 years old. Mama to Maddox. Word weaver. Lover of love. Coffee addict. Psychological science student. 

A woman of curious nature, my name is Shayna. I am wild & reserved. Humbled & proud. Quiet & clamorous. Strange & familiar. I live in the trees of New England typing away as lifestyle blogger. You can always find me with a coffee cup in one hand and a book in the other.

Blogging since 2005, I’ve had an innumerable amount of blogs on a vast number of platforms. Finally, I’ve found one to call home: The Lovely Cicada. This blog is a piece of myself I extend to you.

World Mental Health Day: Ideas for Self Care

The Lovely Cicada | World Mental Health Day Ideas for Self Care

Many people suffer from mental illness and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Although it feels like it, you are not alone. It's okay to reach out and ask for help. It's okay to not be okay. 

When I was a young teenager, I suffered from an eating disorder, depression, and anxiety. I was never comfortable with taking pills so I had to figure out something that worked for me. It took years of courage, fighting, and strength. It took hardships, loss, and horrible experiences. I read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and learned about the mind, how to control it, how to live in the present and let go of the past and the future. I learned how to be a better me, a better human. I learned empathy, I learned sympathy, I learned compassion, I learned strength. I took all my horrible experiences, my depression, my anxiety, and I turned it into healing and transformation. I learned from it. I began meditation. I started to do yoga. I started to look around in nature and appreciate the world, even the negative aspects. I learned that the things that happened in my past had made me stronger, fiercer, more human. I learned to accept what was and what will be. I learned how to conquer my mind the best way I can. 

I still have days where I can see my mind slipping and it becomes a constant battle to regain balance. Everyone's journey and experience with mental illness is different. Success stories sometimes take years and years. Sometimes it takes a few different tries and methods. What works for one may not work for another. Don't be afraid to acknowledge needing help. It does not make you weak or less than someone else. It makes you human and acknowledging it will help lead you into healing.

I compiled a list of self care techniques. These are by no means cures and some of these may be tough some days but it's a reminder to look after yourself and take care of your mind and the vessel that you're in.

Ideas for Self Care

  • Go outside and take photos of the beautiful things you see
  • Read your favorite book
  • Take a bath (add some bubbles or some bath bombs, light a candle)
  • Write, get a journal, let everything out
  • Practice meditation (learn to find that quiet space in your mind)
  • Practice yoga
  • Try to eat better
  • Take up a hobby (knitting, crocheting, sewing, collaging, guitar)
  • Organize (disorganization and living in chaos can create chaos in the mind)
  • Exercise, go for a run, go for a walk/hike
  • Volunteer somewhere (helping others may make you feel better within yourself)
  • Turn off your phone/internet/television
  • Go to a coffee shop (bring your journal, a book, grab a friend, get a coffee)
  • Visit a park
  • Find a flower garden and take in the scents
  • Pet a dog
  • Buy a dog
  • Cuddle a cat
  • Buy a cat
  • Take a hot shower
  • Cry if you need to
  • Watch a funny movie
  • Watch your favorite movie
  • Go to the movies
  • Find a support group
  • Go to therapy (talking to an outsider can be helpful)
  • Go to a concert or a show
  • Live a minimalistic lifestyle
  • Simply lie in bed and enjoy the coziness
  • Make hot chocolate and curl up on your couch
  • Bake
  • Garden
  • Open your curtains
  • Stretch
  • Do a crossword
  • Ask yourself what you need
  • Call a hotline
  • Do a daily tarot reading
  • Take a class 
  • Get your hair done
  • Get your nails done
  • Schedule time to yourself 
  • Write down the things you are grateful for
  • Go thrift store shopping and look for treasures
  • Travel some place new - even if it's a city nearby
  • Walk near a waterfall/lake/river (find peace in the flow of the water)
  • Talk to someone you trust
  • Remind yourself your feelings are okay
  • Learn compassion
  • Write your feelings down
  • Pray
  • Read inspiring quotes

Find what gives you peace. Something simple, something enjoyable. You are wonderful and you are worthy. Please remember that. 

What do you do to help take care of yourself?