On Wednesday, I’ll be hitting 33 weeks. 33. Leaving me with 7 more weeks until I meet my little one. Time seems to be whipping by. Too fast, yet not fast enough. It’s also nutty that he can come anytime within this 7 week period, or he could come later. I’m excited and nervous to see when the little fox picks his birthday.
Right now I feel I’m coasting. Slowly, Dave and I are getting things ready. Little things here and there. I haven’t been rushing around, stressed, which surprises me. Although I’m often nervous and scared, I’m confident, excited, and I’m enjoying my gradual ease into motherhood. I’m shedding old skin and preparing for my new mama skin. I am on the most wild adventure of my life with a babe beneath my breast. I’m being torn in two. As I progress in this pregnancy, part of me is dying while another part is being born. I’m unfolding, manifesting into a new skin. Still me yet taller, stronger, different.
I have so much to learn from you, my little fox.
I often have visions of seeing Maddox. I imagine him with blonde hair and eyes that go from blue to brown. I imagine the smell and softness of his skin, his warmth, his cries, his coos, his smiles. I can’t wait to be a mommy and more specifically, I can’t wait to be his mommy.
I’m excited to team with Dave and for him to be a father to Maddox. I love picturing Maddox laying against Dave’s chest, sweet, tender, and innocent. I love these visions but I’m just about ready for the real thing. Things are not always going to be easy for us. We’re going to struggle and we’re going to struggle hard but we’re going to come through even stronger than before. Loving Dave and being able to share our love has been extraordinary but I’m happy we’ll get to share our love with Maddox as well. I can’t wait for the years ahead of us and what’s to come.
Notes on the third trimester: Things are becoming increasingly more uncomfortable: turning over in bed has become a chore (at least I’m getting cardio somewhere), strong kicks to the ribs (he might already be a black belt), and a ton of hiccuping (if you’ve been pregnant and they occur more than once a day, the consistent, rhythmic thumping can drive you a bit batty). Dave has been exceptional as always. He has understood that sometimes I’m lazy and tired so he helps out as much as he can around the house, he rubs my feet, he rubs my back, he’ll pick things up off the floor, he’ll take my shoes off, and more. He’s great and I’m so overjoyed with everything.
Cheers to 7 more weeks of this sacred journey!